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So, whenever you catch yourself trying to justify looking at porn, learn to challenge it. "Who's going to know? It doesn't matter!"Ĭhallenge with something like: "Well, don't I matter? Because I'm going to know and anyway, others could find out!".You deserve it!"Ĭhallenge perhaps with: "Yeah and this would make it ten times worse! I need something that is really going to make me feel better about myself." I know that you won't let me get away lightly! It's all or nothing!" "It's okay, you only need do it for a few minutes just have a look!"Ĭhallenge that with something like: "Yeah sure, look how much time I waste usually."It's not so bad plenty of people do it!"Ĭhallenge: You could tell yourself: "Yeah and plenty of people self-harm!" Or: "I don't want to be like all those other people out there doing it!".Step two is to challenge the addictive part of your brain that tells you stuff like: It's as if one part of your brain is trying to trick the rest of you. It's like unmasking a seemingly attractive stranger and discovering the ugly reality. Close your eyes and really focus on the memory of the reality of how you feel after a porn viewing session.įocus in on the tiredness, the self-disgust and disappointment, the feeling of foggy-headedness. Next time you feel tempted, for whatever reason, walk away from the device or computer or DVD or magazine and sit in another room – just for twenty seconds.
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1) Feel the consequences before they happenĮver notice how, in the moments before you view porn, you are stuck in the moment? How you become blinkered to how you're going to feel after viewing porn? How the excitement clouds out the reality of the post-viewing exhaustion, disappointment, shame, or disgust? Here are five key steps to overcoming porn addiction. When you do finally stop, you feel worse than you did to start with as you experience the post-binge comedown.īut, as Jeremy found, there is a way back. At first there is excitement but then, bit by bit, you start to feel hollow as the 'pornographic gorge' gathers pace.Īnd, as with all binges, you start to feel overloaded, bloated with images. First there's the feeling of building expectation before you start viewing. Like any addictive behaviour, porn ultimately never delivers what it seems to promise. The more porn you view, the more you want to view and the more extreme it needs to be to give you the same 'buzz'.
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It can also leave you feeling disgusted with yourself.Įxcessive porn viewing steals time away from actual real-life and potentially productive projects. Porn blunts the senses and leaves you feeling unable to focus or concentrate on anything else. "The problem," Jeremy told me with a shaking voice, "is that my job needs lots of very detailed concentration." How do you tell if you're actually addicted to porn? Well, if you feel it controls you and you regularly view porn for hours and often feel you can't stop if it affects work, social life, sleep, and (in Jeremy's case) even made him miss meals, then it needs to be dealt with. Jeremy said as much: "If I was having a rough time at work or been rowing with the girlfriend, I'd use porn to just forget about everything." Eventually, of course, the cure becomes the curse. So people use it for escapism but, in the end, people always want to escape the very thing they were using. Viewing porn is hypnotic in that it narrows the focus of attention and makes us lose track of time. So why does porn addiction happen? Am I really addicted to pornography?īeing addicted to porn isn't, strangely, just about sex. This availability makes it all the more potentially devastating. Internet porn addiction, like online gambling, is easier to fall into, because what once involved going out and meeting others face-to-face can now be done easily and covertly at the click of a button. After hours of viewing porn on his computer, Jeremy couldn't 'switch off' his mind enough to sleep. And the time spent 'ingesting' porn is mind-numbing and leaves you exhausted. But chronic porn viewing does have a physical effect (exhaustion of dopamine release in the brain). Sure, you're not injecting or ingesting anything into your body. Porn addiction is as real as any other chronic dependency. "Honestly, it's as if I am being held ransom by the need to look at the stuff!" He was talking about the porn addiction that had been dictating his work and social life, even the amount he was sleeping.
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Jeremy wasn't talking about alcohol or crack cocaine or marijuana. I don't even want to see my girlfriend! It's ruining my life!"
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I'm scared I'll get discovered doing it at work.
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"How to Overcome Porn Addiction and Get Your Life Back" courtesy of mandyxclear